Life is asking a lot of us right now, isn’t it. So much change, so much questioning of our old ways, so much renewal. In numerology, the number 2 is associated with peace – not the surface level peace that makes everything seem OK, but the deep authentic peace that comes from unearthing and cleansing anything that comes between us and our deepest truth and highest good. And here we are in 2022….deep upheaval in pursuit of authentic peace.
I’ve been reflecting recently on times of deep unearthing and cleansing in my life and what I have learned most profoundly from such times. My partner’s diagnosis and treatment for cancer several years ago was, without a doubt, one of those times. I’ll share a little of my story here…
My partner’s diagnosis and treatment for Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (NHL) was enormously life changing for me. It was potentially the highest level of stress I recall ever having experienced. It was as though we were travelling along one path (with its own little challenges) and in an instant, we were knocked completely into a whole new journey.
For me, and indeed both of us in very different ways, I was forced to face life beyond death. The acceptance of and surrender to a heartbreak I hadn’t been sure I could survive.
It taught me so much about the different ways people deal with trauma and grief. It also taught me the vital importance of connection to Spirit – to something greater than me – not only in times of deep stress but also in daily life.
I experienced, with glaring clarity, that which seems to be present when pushed to the edge of our own capacity – the stillness, the peace, the silence that comes when there is nothing left to do but surrender.
It taught me about severe anxiety, PTSD and the impact of full body freeze – and the strategies that can help us return to peace in the face of despair. It brought me humility, confronted me with my fears, and made me accept and acknowledge the inevitability of challenge in our lives.
It revealed to me my tendency to ‘be a good person’ and to ‘do the right thing’ as an attempt to stave off the truly difficult parts of life – to keep me safe. What I learned is that difficult times will come and go and they always teach us something profound. Up level us. Break us open again so as not to get too stagnant and safe.
I’ve learned that holding a bigger picture, opening to new possibilities, allowing life to do its work always leads us to a better place, and that there is always something to be grateful for, even in the darkest of days.
I’ve learned that I have the capacity to do this. I have felt my relentlessly positive spirit surge to rise again. I know this in my bones now. I will always find a way to rise up again…and so will you.