relationship + connection

Start Close In

February 27, 2018

In a moment of reflection recently it occurred to me that so many of us are looking for our ‘unique’ expression using other people’s words – in songs or prose or self help books – or in other creative expression – in art or music or fashion or design. So many of us see ourselves in these unique expressions of others, we identify with those elements that seem ‘right enough’ that they’ll do for now in the search of ‘what defines me’ and slip back into the place of comfort again, soothed for a short time in having found a relatively comfortable box to sit in. Until the elements that we’re quite the right fit start to dig into our sides, increasingly more frequently, and throw us back out onto that long and unfamiliar road in search of the ‘real me’, that perfect fit for the uniqueness of our own creative and unique contribution to the world – that thing that will leave the world changed – and slightly (or perhaps intensely) better for us having walked this Earth.

It strikes me that it is not the external seeking of identity per se that is at fault – the analysis and reflection time spent in drawing out that which resonates with our being and that which does not is a vital process in establishing our own special version of expression, and a wonderfully bonding activity for the homosapien community – it is the obsessive human tendency to adopt another’s expression in its completeness as our own, without dissecting the parts and seeking to understand where it fits within the creativity and individuality of our own expression.

We are immersed every day, every second, every moment in a multitude of truly magnificent human creativity, amazing expressions of soul that inspire us to join those expressions and to become one with them, persuading us to draw on those eloquent insights surrounding us, an all too frequently to use the ideas dreamt up by others to tell our own tale and journey.

My point here is in a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) way, that we each possess our very own unique language designed specifically for our own personal expression, and that language – together with our purpose and unique creative expression – is deeply inward. It requires silence, and focus and intense contemplation to reveal itself, in all it’s great splendour. It is a journey inward that we so frequently cut short when we harness the creative expression of others and take it on as our own, relieved to be free of the often unfamiliar and more challenging practice of soul searching.

But it is here that we will find our long term peace. It is here that we will find that endless supply of insights into the big questions – to happiness, contentment, compassion and inspiration, to love and understanding and to our very own language – complete with symbols and shapes, colours and designs for that wonderfully unique, satisfying and purposeful expression of ourselves – which is exactly what we are here to do.

So using your ‘external gurus’ as a guidepost, venture inward…’ll be the journey of your lifetime…


Start Close In – by David Whyte

Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first thing
close in,
the step you don’t want to take.

Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.

Start with your own
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something

To find
another’s voice
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
to another.

Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.

Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first thing
close in,
the step you don’t want to take.